Startled by Existence

or …

A love song by request.   8/01

(I am not quite sure what to make of this poem. Most of my poems stem from rational ideas, which I try to dress so others can see; this poem owes its genesis to feeling (Oh dear!) and I have worked to soften some of the thoughts.)

Readin' Emily I see

She felt a funeral in her brain;

Something slow, morose, or grim

Or maybe like a long lost friend.

And Lord, I wouldn’t wish that on myself -

Don't let me know the death of

Precious thought, or even let me

Walk those chalky sullen worlds,

 

But

Tonight when some hive

Of agitated birds

Is flapping in my brain …

Could we go for something still?

Or sober,

Could you slow this freight train down?

 

I see Your purple robes and the spinning stars, I see

Jelly fish in Technicolor coat

speeding by like smeared rainbows.

I feel that Titan tug of war

to codify the "will"

and wonder what it means

that Hell, should be cast in

the lake of fire…

Does some angel have me by the heal?

Or a demon by some reason

of my own design?

 

I see the cross

Like a dagger, ripping through the ages

Cutting through the cords of death, or cast

Like a bridge to heaven.

I see a dying thief consuming venom,

The other, waking into love eternal with the

The throb still in his wrists

I see your love displayed

In manta rays

And manna.

--

But tonight.

Could You tell me that you love me

And no more.